Feeling Like A Misfit Toy

Well Halloween is over and I ate too much candy and had a wonderful time playing a police officer. My 25th birthday has come and I received a wonderful gift from Mother Nature….2 gray hairs on my birthday! Thanks for that! Thanksgiving was warm and wonderful with family that only comes to town once a year for the best food ever. And finally we begin this countdown to Christmas. The Christmas tree is up at my house and was on Black Friday. Instead of standing in lines like a cranky zombie about to bite someone’s head off for a computer or tv I spent the day at home being lazy and slowly decorating the house for Christmas. I must say it was completely enjoyable and much needed after all the events that this holiday season has brought.

This countdown to Christmas always brings canned food drives, toy drives, angel trees, company Christmas parties, caroling, carriage rides, plays, driving through miles of traffic to see houses decorated for the season….and also leaves me feeling like a misfit toy. It’s an odd comparison I guess considering the fact that I wasn’t bullied onto an island with toys that don’t work or work incorrectly. But it does feel that way sometimes when I focus more on making magical moments for others instead of enjoying them for myself. I have definitely found a new respect for the people who work behind the scenes to light the tree in New York and also all the caterers who spend hours laboring over the perfect seasonal meals just to bring everyone a little more Christmas cheer.

This year I’d like to focus on taking some time out for myself to enjoy this magical season with the rest of the gang. Reflect on what gifts I have been given throughout the year, not just the ones wrapped in paper or hidden in big bags. I want to focus on my home, my husband, and my little family. I’d like to actually watch a movie without checking my email on my phone. I know I’ve worked myself into this routine of being everything for everyone but sometimes I have to be something to myself and to the ones I love. Not just leftovers.

Do you ever work yourself into those holes? Work yourself into constantly smiling and being happy because it’s the right thing to do for others? The holidays are always crazy for me and always bring up moments of personal reflection. Moments when I ask myself…”Why did I say yes to all these events?” I say yes to these events because they are for the betterment of others and the community. I feel selfish for not giving my time to everything I can. At some point I will find better balance to my madness and maybe not feel quite so much like a misfit.

This post is dedicated to every misfit out there who dedicates their time to others and never to themselves!